An Emetophobia Setback

When my posts on this subject are few and far between that’s actually a good thing.  It means I’m dealing with my Emetophobia and don’t feel a need to write or research on the subject.  But I poke around here from time to time because of setbacks I have.  Right now, I’m having one.

If you read through my entire blog, I’ve mentioned that while I have always had a fear of vomiting, most of my life up until my late 30s was never altered or overrun by it.  I avoided certain things like roller coaster and over drinking alcohol but never stopped going out or was obsessive with hand washing or even so fearful of catching norovirus (stomach flu).

So right now in Pennsylvania it’s around 40 degrees and I’m sitting outside on my balcony in my pjs and bundled up in a heavy blanket and robe to get some fresh air.  Why?  Because that’s what is helping me calm down from this sudden, unusual emetophobic induced panic attack.

I felt physically fine and suddenly a strong taste of vomit was in my mouth.  No burping or upset stomach.  Just the taste and as that never happened to me before, I started shaking, shivering and panicking.  Haven’t an emetophobic attack in a very long time.

I’m noticing a pattern.  Most of my worst emetophobic attacks have occurred  this time of year.  November and December.  And while It’s not the stress of the holidays causing it either because I love them.  It’s the change of temperature ( I’m a warm weather person and hate the cold) and the darkness.  I love running and doing outdoorsy things such as running, walking in the park and attending outdoor evening concerts at local farms and community grounds.  This is something a SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) lamp would not help me with.

Another pattern I’m noticing is that every time I’ve had a setback, it was a time of deep stress for me.  Right now I’m very worried about my employment and finances.  Last time it was the same issue.

I don’t think anyone ever fully rids themselves of emetophobia but I do believe it’s controllable.  Sometimes setbacks happen but tomorrow I’ll be back to my normal self…until the next time.