Since I started this blog, there has been substantial changes in my life regarding emetophobia. For one, my good days have been panic free and my appetite is almost normal. My bad days are slightly worse than they used to be but I have them less often. For most of the spring and summer, I would say that about 30% of the time I would either panic or change my daily pattern to accomodate this phobia.

Now that it’s fall, the daylight is shorter, and the temperature turns colder, my emetophobia usually comes on full force. It’s different this year than in the past. Now, I find myself in a panic for other issues.

For example, I convinced myself I had Ovarian cancer even though I had no symptoms of it, no ill feelings, and a clean bill of health from the Doctor. There was absolutely no reason for me to doubt the tests and exam from the Dr. except for my irrational thoughts.

Several other Emetophes have told me that they too develop additional phobias in relation to emetophobia. A fear of germs is one such phobia since germs may cause us to get sick.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder is chronic and exaggerated worry and tension, even though nothing seems to provoke it. Having this disorder means always anticipating disaster, often worrying excessively about health, money, family, or work.

to be continued….

In case anyone is wondering, NO, I’m not getting the vaccine. I have never had a flu shot and I never had the flu.

As an emetophobe, I go over and above all recommended preventative measures. This includes:

*Washing my hands frequently especially before eating.
*Not hugging or kissing friends when I greet them.
*Taking vitamins, astragalus, and other immune boosting herbs.
*Using hand sanitizer when I can’t get to a sink.
*Being extra careful with the above mentioned steps when I’m at places with a lot of kids around particularly my karate class.

If everyone else surrounding me gets the vaccine, then the chances of me getting it are slimmer. 

It’s been over a month since my last entry. There are a few reasons for this. For one, my summer has been filled up with one relative visiting after another. And when they visit, it’s either a day trip somewhere or sometimes an overnighter.

Another reason is that my emetophobia hasn’t been that bad lately. I guess that’s good.

Last, I ran out of things to write about. That’s right, I have writersblock, just like my name suggests. Hopefully, I come out of it soon. I tend to be more emetophobic in the fall and winter.

Last week my office sponsored a table at the Southampton Days Fair. There’s something about fairs and carnivals that makes me feel both exhilarated and scared to death at the same time.

In general, I love the atmosphere and excitement that surrounds county fairs. The face painting, games of chance, sideshows, cheesy puppet shows and other activity that I associate with fairs and carnivals.

Even some of the rides can be fun. It’s the ones I won’t go on that scare me. For the record, I’ve never, ever felt nauseated or vomited after going on an amusement ride. That’s because I won’t go on rides I believe will make me sick. That includes rides that spin fast, go upside down and yes, roller coasters. Funny thing is that I will go on virtual rides that are known to cause motion sickness and I love them and never feel sick from them. Merely closing your eyes while on these rides will remedy any motion sickness so I’m not afraid of them.

Watching some of these rides operate puts a pit in my stomach. Our table was near this nausea inducing twirling ride called The Zipper.

Combining these rides with typical fair food is another fear inducing thought.  I don’t like fried, greasy foods and the smell of them on a sizzling day makes it that much worse.  Emetophobics ponder the thought of how many people during a typical day at the fair vomited somewhere on the grounds.

The number one piece of advice I’ve been given is to do deep breathing techniques when a panic attack begins. In theory, it works and it works very well. In reality, I have a hard time doing deep breathing exercises when my stomach is in knots.

One reason is that I only get panic attacks when I have indigestion, bloating, cramping or other common stomach ailments. Deep breathing requires concentrating on the air flowing down the lungs and the stomach expanding. This type of technique not only keeps me focused on the same part of the body that’s giving me the attack, it makes the symptoms feel worse.

Emetophobia sucks!

I doubt my fear of vomiting will ever go away. All of my childhood and my adult life I’ve had it. It just didn’t control my life until later on. Right now it’s manageable. I’m still following good hygiene and walk around with my emet kit. I still don’t enjoy going out to dinner or events where there is food and drink. But, I’m able to do these things without terrible distress.

That’s not to say I no longer need this blog. There will be times when my roller coaster will pick accelerate unexpectedly, even if it’s only a quick ride.

Just when the wave of relief over the end of norovirus season swooped by, we now have to face the Swine flu. Flu like symptoms could include nausea and vomiting but those aren’t the main symptoms and in many people, if not most, they don’t violently vomit from the flu.

Emetophobia has made me paranoid about getting sick, period. When an illness has possible symptoms of nausea and vomiting, paranoid turns into panic. Especially when it’s of near epidemic proportions and airborne.

On Sunday I was walking amongst crowds of tourists in Times Square. Yesterday I heard there was a confirmed case of the Swine flu at a company located in Times Square. This is very scary since I can wash and sanitize my hands frequently, which I often do, but I can’t control what I’m breathing in.

I only hope this flu dissipates as quickly as its spreading.

If you have ever known an emetophobe, you probably noticed how fanatical we are about expiration dates on food.  Most of my perishable foods are tossed before the expiration date, just to be on the safe side.

I’ve heard everyone from close family member to grocery store employees tell me the date on the product is only when they must stop selling the product rather than when the product should no longer be consumed.  And some products specifically say they are best before and then a date.  That may sound ok to normal people but for me it poses one question.  How long after the posted date is the food safe to consume?  All of the answers I get are very ambiguous and well, no one seems to know.